A Conscious Decision

Yesterday I made a conscious decision to be happy. Simple as that - I just decided that whatever came my way that day would just swirl around me like that giant bed of flotsam swirling round the ocean.

I would not get entangled in it.

It worked! I drove in to the city with no issues (I usually rant, rave, scream and give rude gestures to all in my way en route). I had a day at work with no drama, and not only no drama, but I was able to be speak up and be a contributing influence on our team meeting, when usually I would sit feeling terrified someone was going to ask me a question, thereby revealing me as the ignorant person the little voices in my head sometimes convince me I am.

I had a lovely evening cooking dinner with my hubby. I am normally not very easy to work with - I am a 'do it my way or get outta my way' sort of person. But we divided tasks and got it all done in a happy frame of mind.

In fact we bonded and worked as a team all evening, it was rather special.

I had one moment of sadness and tears when my daughter C was speaking to her nanny who has just moved off to the eastern cape. C is so devastated about her retiring and leaving the family home. C worries equally about her father being on his own, the animals not having Jean there to look after them and about Jean being left to the care of her not very caring family.

But highs and lows are part of a normal day - being sad does not take away from the happiness from the rest of the day.

And that is my ultimate quest - to find balance, peace and stability in my life.