For The Birds

I've not blogged in ages. I had some issues at work and said some things online which got me into trouble, so have been keeping a low profile.

A lot has been going on, a month ago we had a break in while we were home. It was terrifying and stressful. I'm not going into the details, most people know the details now and I am trying to put it behind me. I only mention it now because of what happened when I went for my hypnotherapy session afterwards to deal with the trauma. I went under in the session and when Sharon (my therapist) had me go into the light and for any spiritual beings who had a message to come forward, both my father and my grandmother came through and embraced me in a circle of light. The message for me was 'I am safe and protected' and to 'be strong'. The other message came from my Grandmother who told me that She had made sure that Lily was not there as she is her favorite. I guess even spirits have favorites!?

The next big event in my life is that I had a hip replacement op 2 weeks ago today. I've needed the op since 2009 but had not been in a permanent job which meant no sick pay. It just all worked out that the timing was right so I went for it. I was terrified. I am a complete wuss about needles. So I was panicking over everything from the IV to the spinal anesthetic. As it was not a general anesthetic I also panicked I would hear and feel the op but be unable to communicate. All of the fears were unfounded, it was not as bad as I imagined. I was numb from the waist down from the spinal and so no pain for a few hours, then I had a morphine pump for 24 hours. I discovered that morphine does not knock me out or even make me sleepy. It makes me talk. Endlessly and pointlessly. I literally did not shut up for 24 hours. The high care nurses were bargaining, if we give you a bath will you sleep? If we get you juice will you sleep? Looking back it is hilarious, the idea of these exhausted night duty nurses wanting to put their feet up while I rambled on and on.

After a night in high care they moved me to the ward. I was pushed into the room and there was a lovely little old lady sitting there. She had her hair up and looked rather regal. I introduced myself and she said, 'oh my granddaughter is named Lisa' and then she introduced herself as 'Rena' and my heart skipped a beat and my eyes filled with tears. My grandmother who watches over me was named Rena! I have never met another woman named Rena so it is not a common name. They even spell it the same. I then told Rena about my GMa and that she watches over me in spirit and she sends me birds as our signal that she is around me.

Imagine the shock we both had when Norm came to visit and brought a new wash bag covered in little birds!

Rena and I hit it off and despite the 40 year age gap we chatted and chatted. It felt like I had know her forever and I was so relaxed and comfortable with her. She called us the deadly duo when we teamed up to cheek the nurses. I just adored her.

It worked out we were both released I the same day. She went early in the morning but I had to wait for Norm and only left at lunch time. After Rena left I tried to sleep, but I kept being startled awake, and when I would open my eyes I would see little orbs flitting around the ceiling. I just said 'hi gran' and closed my eyes. Then I would feel a long nail being dragged up the bottom of my foot. This is something GMa always used to do, tickle me with her long nails. This made me flex my foot, each time it was on the operated leg.

When I got home my Mom reminded me that GMa had broken her hip. She had refused to do her physio and as a result she could not walk properly and ended up in a wheelchair, which resulted I her having to move in with her son and not be independent any longer. I think that was her way of telling me to do my physio exercises as each tickle resulted in me flexing my foot, which is the exercise we do for circulation.

The main challenge in recovering is to be dependent and to be patient. Both areas which I have a lot of issues with. I have to wait for someone to help me out of bed, to prepare food or drink for me, even to help me to the loo. I have once again been reminded what a kind, considerate and loving husband I have as he has not left my side. My girls are doing their best to look after me and Caitlin has been cooking for our whole family most nights. I am so grateful for the love and care of my family. I am grateful that I could afford this op. I am grateful that I should be pain free after the healing.