Two Moms

Last night I was standing in the kitchen when Lily came home from work. She came up to me and said 'I need to tell you something' and burst into tears. I immediately thought 'oh no she is pregnant'. But then she said she wanted to apologise to me. We had watched the movie 'The Help' on the weekend, and Lily had found it very emotional. She said it reminded her of Jean, the woman who raised my kids. She is a Xhosa woman in her late 60's and she has worked for my ex husband for almost 20 yrs. Lily was a toddler when my marriage ended and Jean was the one who fed them, washed their clothes and her bed was where Lily slept for years. So in the movie when the child tenderly touches her nursemaids face and says 'you're my real Mama' it was too much for Lily and she got very upset.
Lily said she knew that it upset me and it upset her that she upset me. I know that my face shows whatever I am feeling, but I told her it wasn't hurt she was seeing, it was sadness. Sad that, I wasn't the one there for her. Also gratitude that my kids had Jean who still tells Lily she loves her more than the children she gave birth to. Some of that sadness is also reserved for Jean, who was as absent in her children's lives as I was in mine, both of us from situations not of our own creation.
Lily hugged me and told me she always knew she could count on me to be there for her when she needed me and that I was a good mom and did her best to reassure me, but she didn't need to. You see I also had 2 moms. One of those was my grandma, my Mom worked for my whole childhood so I often stayed at my GMa. Luckily our house was built on an acre of land which was part of my GMa's 20acre estate. I would flip back and forth between houses depending on my mood and who was home at the time. My mom was only 20 when I was born so she left a lot of my care to my Gran.
I miss my Gran so and I am so grateful I had her in my life.
Just as I am thankful my kids had their 'other Mom'. Some kids are not lucky enough to have anyone, much less more than 1.